and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
