thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
im on a boat
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