i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
