i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
