I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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