peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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