I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
