He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
