Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
