Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have already put on my inside pants.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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