The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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