She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
