I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
