My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
