Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
