we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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