she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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