I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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