Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
