God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
