you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
