I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
