Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
