He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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