What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
