I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
When are your genitals available?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
