That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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