when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
