My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
