There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
