Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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