Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
