Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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