well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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