Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
