I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
