i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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