This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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