i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
