OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I need to sanitize my soul.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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