how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
