update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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