Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
