why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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