everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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