new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So vagazzling was a success
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
