Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
