My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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