So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
