The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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