Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
