Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
